Chris and I have decided to go separate ways. I'm not sure if I feel relief or sadness (probably both). I'm not sure what I've said here about Chris (and I'm in no mood to go back and review) but there is a 14 year age difference between us and I think that had something to do with our issues. In my opinion, he is set in his ways and has a low tolerance for children, mine included. In his opinion, I simplify the issue by stating that he simply doesn't like children. Regardless, we have drastically different approaches to child-rearing. His approach seems to be "children should be seen, not heard". And, I agree with him to an extent.
I do believe that children should know there is a time and place for certain behaviors. I wouldn't allow my child to run up and down the aisles at church or even the grocery store. However, I don't have a problem with him voicing his opinion about where we go eat or how we spend an afternoon together. That doesn't mean I'm going to grant his wish, but I do allow him to give his input.
There were several other issues that just seem to be too large for us to overcome but I think the child issue has always been at the center of it. My son comes first. He has too. So, I gave him the option of taking a step back and only spending time with me, he declined.
So, here I am. Single again.
All of this has brought up one thought in my mind. Is it even worth it to date seriously when you have children involved? How do other people do it? How long do you wait before introducing your child to your date? Is there a difference between how dating is handled with younger children and older ones?
I've always shielded my son from any dates I've had until now. Mostly because I didn't think it was healthy for him to see me out dating numerous men. Now, I wonder if I have done a disservice to him by allowing him to believe that I have absolutely no life outside of him.
I know that my son didn't like it when I told him I was seeing Chris. I know that he resisted getting to know him and that he was rude and disrespectful at times. Chris always saw that as a behavioral issue whereas I saw it as my son trying to adjust to a new situation. He isn't normally rude or disrespectful (out of all the children at his school, he won the character trait for "respect" last year) and when he was with Chris, I always corrected him. We had many discussions about the way to act and I did discipline him the few times he was out of line. Chris thinks he should be punished. I thought punishing him would just make things worse as it was apparent my son was trying to cope with this new person in our lives. I believed things were getting better but according to Chris, they weren't.
We aren't even speaking at this point and there hasn't really even been a definite "This is over" declaration. He said he'd call or see me in person in a few days to discuss more but at this point, I'm tired and I have nothing left to say.
It's been awhile. I'm sorry for neglecting you, pink and brown blog o' mine.
I've officially moved into my new home but I'm still mostly living out of boxes and bags. We moved in two weeks ago and I've spent the majority of those two weeks trying to get used to the reality that I am a homeowner. I have purchased a truck load of new furniture that is being ordered and therefore, I am sleeping on my old mattress in the floor and I have no dresser. I've also been remodeling my bathroom.
I was very persistent in my decision to remodel my bathroom. The previous owners had painted the walls bright yellow with very dark poop green leaves stamped all over it. Stamps just aren't my thing so I painted it a light and airy turquoise blue and installed white wainscoting on the bottom half. It makes me feel as if I am on vacation.
Things are picking up in the continuing saga of my online dating experiment. A man, named Seth, winked at me and we've been emailing one another like mad ever since. Next Saturday, we meet!
Speaking of online dating, the gentleman with the brutally honest profile never responded to my e-mail. I guess he didn't find my sarcasm funny. Although, he still pops up on my list of those who have viewed me every now and then so perhaps it's just taking him longer to compose his response.
I am happy. I think that's the point. I feel very fortunate at this point in my life. I know that I will not always feel that way. I'm certain that circumstances will happen that will make me feel overwhelmed or completely defeated. That's just life. I cannot take this moment for granted. Tomorrow, I may wake up to find half of my roof caving in. Tomorrow, my son may start to show signs of a horrid disease. Tomorrow, I may not even be here anymore. I realize those are extreme examples, but shit happens all the time to people who were blissfully happy just a short 24 hours earlier.
My life isn't completely perfect either. My weight still brings me down and is something that I am forever thinking about and feeling bad about. However, for now, I'm able to look at the big picture and realize that I'm a very blessed woman.
I mentioned in one of my first entries that I dusted off my old match.com profile. Tonight, I present to you the profile of a gentleman that "winked" at me today (winking is like sending an instant message to another person to let them know you are interested).
I'm back ladies!! Well, let's cut the BS. You want an 'honest' guy well that's what you're going to get. I'm 34 and divorced. I used to be in great shape but when I had knee surgery I put on about 100 lbs. I would try to lose it but my suits had to be custom made so I'm going to stay this size because I spent too much money on them. Plus I hate exercise. I make great money as Sales Manager for a couple of Radio Stations here in Atlanta. I mention this because I realize that most/all girls are all about money and who can 'provide' for them. I am looking for a girl that definitely doesn't make more money than I do. I pay. That's it. Money keeps me in control(I can also hold it over your head later if I need to even though I probably offered to pay). I'm smarter than everyone so don't bother correcting me because I will be right. If I'm not right, I'm in Sales so I'll keep arguing until I break you down. Also, don't bother contacting me unless you're real pretty. I don't want to waste my time on fat, ugly girls. Don't worry though, pretty ladies, I'm that guy who'll spoil you, call you 'sweety' or 'honey' and let you hear whatever you want.
He also states under the section "For Fun": "I'm 34 and divorced. I like to drink Scotch, gamble, smoke cigarrettes, smoke pot, and spend money on hookers and strippers."
One other item worth noting is that he specified he was looking for a date who was between 3'0" - 6'5".
One to never pass up the opportunity to meet new people who are just dripping with sarcasm, I responded to him and this is what I said,
"Thanks for the wink and for the laugh. Your profile is certainly unique! I am a bit speechless though. My own sense of humor is a bit warped so my first reaction was to laugh at the entire thing.
I assume your creative profile is just a new approach to the boring, standard "SWM seeking SWF" profile and not the cold, hard truth. I guess you could always use this as your disclaimer for any woman who dares to get involved with you. "I warned you in my profile, but you laughed." :)
You look harmless but looks are totally deceiving. Tell me, does this approach work? I'm very curious.
There are just a few things I need to clarify before this goes any further and we end up wasting each other's time.
1. How does that whole stripper/hooker thing work out when you are dating someone? Would you share or would I have to get my own?
2. I see you are not against the idea of dating dwarfs. I applaud your open mind. Personally, I don't think I could date someone any shorter than 5'6 or so. Don't you think 3'0" is a bit extreme though?
3. Would I have to provide my own pipe and stash or would you share that too?
Thanks in advance for shedding some light on these important issues."
Will let you know if he responds.
Self-Made Man 