I mentioned in one of my first entries that I dusted off my old match.com profile. Tonight, I present to you the profile of a gentleman that "winked" at me today (winking is like sending an instant message to another person to let them know you are interested).
I'm back ladies!! Well, let's cut the BS. You want an 'honest' guy well that's what you're going to get. I'm 34 and divorced. I used to be in great shape but when I had knee surgery I put on about 100 lbs. I would try to lose it but my suits had to be custom made so I'm going to stay this size because I spent too much money on them. Plus I hate exercise. I make great money as Sales Manager for a couple of Radio Stations here in Atlanta. I mention this because I realize that most/all girls are all about money and who can 'provide' for them. I am looking for a girl that definitely doesn't make more money than I do. I pay. That's it. Money keeps me in control(I can also hold it over your head later if I need to even though I probably offered to pay). I'm smarter than everyone so don't bother correcting me because I will be right. If I'm not right, I'm in Sales so I'll keep arguing until I break you down. Also, don't bother contacting me unless you're real pretty. I don't want to waste my time on fat, ugly girls. Don't worry though, pretty ladies, I'm that guy who'll spoil you, call you 'sweety' or 'honey' and let you hear whatever you want.
He also states under the section "For Fun": "I'm 34 and divorced. I like to drink Scotch, gamble, smoke cigarrettes, smoke pot, and spend money on hookers and strippers."
One other item worth noting is that he specified he was looking for a date who was between 3'0" - 6'5".
One to never pass up the opportunity to meet new people who are just dripping with sarcasm, I responded to him and this is what I said,
"Thanks for the wink and for the laugh. Your profile is certainly unique! I am a bit speechless though. My own sense of humor is a bit warped so my first reaction was to laugh at the entire thing.
I assume your creative profile is just a new approach to the boring, standard "SWM seeking SWF" profile and not the cold, hard truth. I guess you could always use this as your disclaimer for any woman who dares to get involved with you. "I warned you in my profile, but you laughed." :)
You look harmless but looks are totally deceiving. Tell me, does this approach work? I'm very curious.
There are just a few things I need to clarify before this goes any further and we end up wasting each other's time.
1. How does that whole stripper/hooker thing work out when you are dating someone? Would you share or would I have to get my own?
2. I see you are not against the idea of dating dwarfs. I applaud your open mind. Personally, I don't think I could date someone any shorter than 5'6 or so. Don't you think 3'0" is a bit extreme though?
3. Would I have to provide my own pipe and stash or would you share that too?
Thanks in advance for shedding some light on these important issues."
Will let you know if he responds.
Posted at
09:20 PM
comments: 1
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Joy, that is TOO funny! You have to be sure and post his response if you get one.
Posted by Amy at July 12, 2005 11:10 PM
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Self-Made Man 